Habit 4: Think Win-Win {and we’ll all win!}

After a brief hiatus for Christmas, I’m back with the rest of the 7 Habits to share with you.  I also want to mention some of the very cute things Gabe has said lately, and share some pictures with you.  Lastly, I am contemplating a new project, after finishing my 2012 photobook.  I was about to share it–then I got freaked out about internet stalkers.  I just can’t completely open up to everyone, you know?  Message me if you are curious, and I will gladly send you the link (if you aren’t a creeper! lol)

I started my first photobook last year, and I LOVE how they turn out.  They are basically a yearbook of everything we did all year.  I’m so afraid I will forget things when I get older, so I try to capture little details like where went to eat, who we celebrated with, that type of thing.  So now I have my 2011 and 2012 books done, so I will try to do 2013’s book as I go, and hopefully even do 2010 as well.  Oh yeah, and I took so many pictures that Christmas didn’t fit into this year’s book, so unfortunately happily I get to make another fun book, this time with a Christmas theme 🙂  Photobooks are where my creativity with my photography can shine through, and my memories of my family & friends are preserved for decades to come.  Needless to say, the 2 photobooks I’ve done are a few of my proudest personal accomplishments.  (Oh, and you get 10 bonus points if you make it the whole way thru all 111 pages!)

So, back to the 7 Habits.  Habit 4 is “Think Win-Win.”  Here is Covey’s synopsis (with my comments in red):

Think Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition.  That’s what the Army was all about. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing–that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. Exactly what the Army was all about.  No wonder I was miserable.  We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

  1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
  2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
  3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Yep, I struggle with this, both at work and at home, but especially with parenting.  I feel like I have to be tough, yet I want to be nice at the same time. Huge struggle for me! Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that–to achieve that balance between courage and consideration–is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

Lately I’ve been trying Win-Win without realizing it.  Once again, this pertains to Gabe.  He has been extremely sensitive/moody/difficult to get along with.  It’s his way or his way, and he will let you know if he’s upset–loud & clear!  So lately I’ve been trying to be extra patient (which is hard for me) but I realized at one point that I do everything quickly and I expect him to keep up.  He can’t.  He’s barely 2 years old, and I have to slow down and help him understand.  So lately I’ve taken to narrating more of what we’re doing–which I think you’re supposed to do anyway for babies–and it has helped tremendously.  Tonight, he had a few minor mini-tantrums (progress for us!), but no all-out crying or whining.  By me giving more of myself and my patience, I’m able to get more patience and cooperation from Gabe.  In addition, I’ve tried so hard to say what I mean and mean what I say.  For instance, when I tell him, yes we can read a book in a minute–this boy is a serious bookworm and I love it but it also gets tough when he’s asking to read another book every 2.5 seconds–I try to actually sit down and read him the book in less than a minute.  He trusts my word and that I will carry out what I say.  Regardless of my long example, I think win-win is possible in many other areas of life, and I’ll be looking for it now to try out and share with you later.

Almost as if to reward me for the extra patience I’ve exercised, Gabe has come up with some really cute words and phrases in the past month.  When I sneeze, he says “Blesh-oo Momma!” and if he sneezes, he’ll say “I neezed!” (Adorable).  He’s also caught on to my mild case of road rage.  Last week I was waiting forever for a car to turn in front of me, and I said “Come on dude!” (Trust me, I’ve really cleaned up my act in front of the boy).  Now, anytime we are at a standstill in the car, Gabe will say “Come on dude!” in his cute little toddler voice.  LOL!  Tonight while putting him to bed, we first read about 5 books, and he is actively on his way to memorizing all of them.  Then I sing to him, and I asked him what song he wanted (I think he only knows two).  He chose “Itsy sider” which of course is the Itsy Bitsy Spider.  He knows some of the words and sang with me.  There is something about a child singing that is just heart-melting.  His next request was Twinkle, twinkle little star.  oh gosh, I almost forgot my favorite part.  In the midst of singing to him, Gabe asked for kisses.  He rarely asks for kisses–too big & independent.  I just about cried.  When I finally go to lay him down, he will fuss, so I have to say “Tell Momma bye bye.  Tell Momma I love you.”  He’ll do it, then I have to say “Go to sleep” and he’ll lay right down and be quiet.  A far cry (literally!) from where we were a year ago!

Anyways, here’s some fun ones of our first try at potty-training (we had 1 hit, the rest of the day misses–as in wet undies–so training is on hold for a few more weeks) and the bath tub last night.

Last but not least, I’m thinking about trying a new endeavor.  With my photobook done, and no new physical goals on the horizon right now, I need something new to do in my little tiny slice of free time each week.  A friend has been telling me about Beachbody coaching, and I think it’s something I’d like to try.  I certainly enjoy working out, and motivating others, and when I did the challenge I got hooked on Shakeology.  So I’m probably a decent candidate for a coach right?!  Would you let me coach you??  I just don’t want to get into something unless I give it my all, so I’m debating if this is the right step for me.  I hope it is 🙂

Ok bedtime, whew… i can hardly keep typing.  Goodnight, and have a wonderful week!  Don’t forget to share your smile with others 😀

This entry was posted in 7 Habits, new words, Shakeology, tantrums, Things they say. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Habit 4: Think Win-Win {and we’ll all win!}

  1. Pingback: Energy BOOST + “Know Your role?” | Runnin' Mom

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